Art of Creating Connection
Today I’m sharing secrets to creating connections and having deep and meaningful conversations.
You may be thinking, why do l even need to know?
Well, in our daily life we have so many conversations with people, but they don’t excite us, and when we talk it’s because we have to, e.g., we want something or need to tell someone off.
Let’s be honest these days people prefer to be on social media on their phones than have a deep, meaningful conversation with people around them.
We are stopping ourselves from having amazing, stimulating conversations that we feel invigorated and intrigued to connect with people on that deeper level and genuinely build long-lasting relationships that will benefit you for a lifetime.
Essentially, communication is an art form and only until we master it we can truly take control of situations, gain a better understanding of people and benefit in every conversation we are in!
The conversations could be with work colleagues, your spouse, dates, friends, family or a total stranger.
Here are a few tips to master the Art of Creating Connections.
Tip 1: Be curious
Have you ever watched children play? Have you noticed they play with pure curiosity?
They jump from one activity to another, one conversation to another, from who is your favourite superhero to kicking a football in the playground to searching for YouTube on your mobile. They are always wanting to see everything, even what’s in your bag to asking “Why” “Why” “Why”... Taking in information like a sponge.
Now... whilst you're still trying to understand a child’s mind, enter this state of childlike amazement and curiosity. So next time you're out with your date ask him or her “If you had a superpower what would it be?
Tip 2: From this curious state, ask questions.
Permit yourself to go to his curious place; you will start thinking differently. And if you apply this curious state to when you meet someone, why not ask the person you are speaking to about situations or stories from the past, present or future to help you understand them on a deeper level.
You may be wondering, Wajeeha what questions... Well, here are a few:
“When was the last time you took a risk?”
“What do you wish you could have done differently?”
“If you could wave a magic wand what would you wish for?”
"If you woke up tomorrow and your bank account was empty what would you do?"
“The first time you held me in your arms what did that feel like?”
Of course, the last question is better if you are in a relationship, you certainly wouldn’t want to ask anyone that one :)
Get creative with your question and remember curiosity is the key.
On a side note, know your answer to the questions before you ask them of another.
Tip 3: Listen with your ears
It sounds like an easy one. However, many do not master listening but talking so learn to listen more than talking. And when they answer active listening will give you the opportunity to really hear what they are saying.
Don’t predict their answer and jump the gun to answer their questions or confirm what you were thinking, it can be tempting but be patient and LISTEN to their response. The way they answer, their expressions, eyes and body language - that will give a lot away!
If you really want to connect with someone don’t skip this bit. However tempting it may be. You may miss something that will give you vital clues and create that all important connection, spark, chemistry you are searching for.
Tip 4: Take it in
Sometimes what you’re hearing through this process is different than what you’ve heard before.
Take it in, reflect on what you have heard and how it resonates with you. It will also help you to see the “Red flags” (something I cover in depth in the Masterclass) but I am sure you know what I mean.
That Gut feeling you have and you kick yourself later because I did not...Well Listen.
Tip 5: Be open, be honest, be YOU!
It’s so tempting to answer a question the way we think the other person wants to hear it BUT if you are searching for someone to be open and honest with YOU, it has to start with you!!!!
The truth is studies show and in my experiences; people prefer honesty as it’s rare to come by these days!
Don’t be afraid to be yourself either. The world seems a better place when you're honest with yourself and down to earth.
I want you to action these five tips today, whether it’s with a total stranger, colleague, on your first date or partner try them out yourself and notice what’s different to the usual conversations you had before.
After actioning the tips, I would love to hear how you got on and your thoughts, so please feel free to comment or get in touch.
Please join me or share this post with someone who will benefit to create healthier relationships!
Have a great day and l look forward to hearing from you.
Ps When you ask questions, remember:
Don’t be afraid to use silence to your advantage. Give the person you’re talking to sufficient opportunity to think things through and respond to your question. Don’t jump in. Let them finish. Even if there are five seconds, ten seconds of silence. Let them finish.
Can a Question change your life?
The simple answer YES!
Because the right question can begin to shift the way we perceive or think about something – and that might serve as the catalyst for change.
I love questions, it’s the bread and butter of my work, questions are what make me authentic, they help me help my clients, give them new hope, shine a light on the could have been, should have’s, would have’s. The I can verse the I can’t and the all-important light bulb moments.
Good questions allow you to be curious, allow you to ‘know’, to see a different perspective or explore possibilities.
We ask a lot of questions in life. BUT not enough of the right questions. The problem is, most of us ask terrible questions. We talk too much and accept bad answers (or worse, no answers). We’re too embarrassed to be direct, or we’re afraid of revealing our vulnerability, so we avoid, dodge and miss out on opportunities to connect and grow.
If you’ve ever wanted to know the secret to asking questions that can help excel your career, deepen your relationships, or just connecting better with people, let me tell you it’s often not what you say, but the questions you don’t ask, that make all the difference. Join me on 28th April for Unexpected Connections networking event where you will have the opportunity to try out these skills through guided facilitation.
And if you book before 20th April you will receive a FREE 1-1 session with me. (Worth £200)