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How do you do that?

· Personal Development,Relationship,Change,Love

April has been a busy month, a good busy it mean’s I have had the opportunity to meet with a lot of people, across the country speaking at various events.

There has been a common theme……UNCERTAINTY.

I guess it’s a familiar feeling for all of us, that moment you wake up to the odds stacked up with lots of might be’s, could have been’s, should have been’s.

Here are a few ideas of how you could embrace uncertainty.

Fight or Flight.....

When you feel uncertain, your amygdala—an almond-shaped structure located in your temporal lobes—revs you up by signalling to the rest of the brain that, that oh so familiar feeling of fight-or-flight response may well be called into action.

The prefrontal cortex receives the alarm bell from the amygdala and can agree and take action or recognize that there’s no cause for concern and quell the amygdala.

Here is the thing sometimes it isn’t able to control the amygdala on its own.

When you feel that anxiety, you need to engage the prefrontal cortex directly.

How could you do that?...

Meditation, therapy, or yoga.

Sarah, my client, resigned from a job she hated, she took a risk and set up her own company.  She felt uncertain about the future and consistently worried about her ability.   Her friends, family and ex-clients reassured her she could; the breakthrough came when she stopped listening to the inner voice that said she could not.

When you’re feeling unsure about the future and what you can handle, take time out and speak to other people. Sometimes they can see the situation more clearly than you can yourself. Thet could be the support you need to feel certain.

How do you do that?

Have you heard the saying ...”Believe in someone else’s belief in you until you believe in you”? That’s how

Make Chaos your friend…..

When things don’t go as planned and we’re not sure how they’ll end, we tend to create doomsday scenarios.

For Fozia the threat of redundancy become “I’ll never be able to find work again.”


We tend to see only the loss side of the equation, which is a wonder called the negativity bias.

Our brains are wired to go to the negative bias automatically, but we can rewire this impulse.

Realize that there is rarely disruption without opportunity.

Look for possibilities through the uncertainty.

Ask yourself:

“How can I make this work in my favour?


“There is the possibility of turning this into something that works for me.”

When Fozia shifted her thinking to " I can open the Nursery" She did!

She set up her own Nursery which is growing. She is living her passion working with children and making a difference.

Sometimes we look too long at the door that has closed that we don’t see the door or even window that has opened up in its place.

How do you do that?

Stop, think listen there is a flip side to the coin.

Plan for an outcome that works in your favour, rather than focusing on the negative bias.

Keep your eyes, ears and mind open for new opportunities!

Do what you have been putting off….

No one likes to wait.

And waiting for a significant life change is more challenging still.

I work with singles who are just waiting to find that special someone, to be married, I tell them to live their lives as fully as possible.

That's what happened for Adil he stopped putting things on hold waiting to do them with that "Someone special".

Whilst rushing around at work in the corridor her bumped into his now wife. Trust me it was not a good bumping into, he was able to turn the situation around and well things did turn out for the best.

During a rocky and uncertain time, you need to have something concrete to look forward to: Take that holiday or sign up for a sponsored climb of Kilimanjaro. Go to a spa, try out yoga to slow down your mind or a sports match with your friends. Instead of worrying about what may be ahead, do something that makes you happy.

How do you do that?

Just do it! I know there is a BUT Wajeeha coming .....Really....Just do it!

Don’t look back, say, 20 years later and remember how you sat around worrying, just waiting.

If you think you’ve created a controllable, predictable life for yourself, well that’s just an illusion.


Nothing stays the same forever. When you think you’ve curled into a cosy cocoon of predictability, anything could change in a heartbeat.

Uncertainty can work in two ways it can motivate you to just “BE”. Practise acceptance and gratitude, or it can keep you at night, tossing and turning thinking of ways to protect yourself from the things that might go wrong.

What’s coming tomorrow might not be easy—or it might fulfil you in ways you could never have imagined.

Tomorrow will come, that is for certain, and when it does, you will respond and learn from it.

What’s possible today and tomorrow is endless.


The only constant in life is that there will be change, and try as you may to control the future, sometimes all you can do is trust that whatever happens, you can adapt and make the best of it.

Try out these tips, let me know how your getting on. I would love to hear from you.

Your Coach


PS. As always I have not used the real names of my clients.

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