I didn’t decide when I was 14 that I was going to be a Nurse, psychotherapist, or relationship coach. In fact, life took me on a different path where I drifted for a while unable to follow the natural course of education, school, college or university. The dots soon joined up, and here I am today.
I am passionate about what I do because I believe that we all have the ability to realise our true potential and being the best we can be….sometimes we just need a little help.
Believe me when I tell you asking for help is the best thing I did for me and mine.
So, this is how my story unfolds in a few short words.
When I think about my journey, I am reminded of every person that has been in my life or passed through my life, those who are still here and those who have gone.
From my mum, dad, big sis, little sis, my brothers my kids who held out a candle of hope, of light.
From the woman who gave me directions on that day when I felt lost and broken, battered and bruised when I felt the odds were stacked against me, deep down there was a fire in my belly that gave me hope that I was going to thrive not just survive.
To the woman, a stranger on that cold winters day who trusted me to share her pain, her story. Who cried and said thank you for listening.
To the person that smiled at me and whispered, “I got a feeling you’re going to be ok.”
Without them, I would not be here today.
Let me tell you; there are two sides to me. On the outside, I am everything I am, and on the inside, I am everything I am not.
On the outside I’m confident, a chatterbox, calm, passionate, giver, carer, survivor, saviour, funny, optimistic, determined, up for a challenge, pushing the boundaries, driven, free, spiritual, loving, mother, sister, daughter, friend, confidant, the positive voices in my head spur me on and the events in my life say “See you can do it”.
On the inside, my self-esteem has been knocked, broken, battered, ripped apart, bruised, I dare not push the boundaries, I’m a pessimist, I lack determination, the negative voices in my head tell me “Don’t risk it, you're silly what are you doing that for, what will people think?” Life’s events tell me to sit back and hold back it’s not worth the risk.
That’s how I arrived here today this is me, it’s not been an easy journey one that’s come with its up’s, downs and few don’t pass go along the way. My journey has been scattered with random events and people which have shaped my present.
I am aware as the minutes, days, and years pass I am changing and evolving. I have faced challenges in life that have formed me as a person, some of these are positive experiences, and others have been character building. While there have been times where inside I have battled with anxiety, on the exterior I portray a person who is calm collected and progressive.
This is me, on the inside and the out.
This is how the story goes, one day when I needed it most someone believed in me. They told me I know you will be great and “I believe in you”. They asked me why is it you don’t believe in yourself? I did not believe in me because I had no idea that I could FLY, or even if it was the “done” thing.
When I say FLY this is what I mean I learnt how to Fall in Love with Myself, to battle through anxiety, to tear down those walls to rise high above the noise of “You can’t do that”, to get out of my own way and believe in me!
Through it all I believe in the law of attraction, weird random events that seem too unlikely to be merely coincidence happen more frequently than they should. I think that thought has an energy, which impacts and manifest reality and shapes it in very specific ways. So I say “No Challenge is too great, I can and I will”.
If you are reading this right now, I want you to know that it’s not weak to ask for help.
Ask for help, I did. It's the best gift I gave myself. The comfort of speaking to a stranger gave me the strength to rebuild my life to what it is.
Things don’t have to be this way you don’t have to battle the highs and lows of life alone.
Sometimes all you need is someone to listen, a safe place to cry, to scream to bear your broken heart and soul, a safe place to start to heal, to find the words, the tools and skills to start to rebuild what feels so broken and unfixable.
To breath to live, to laugh to feel, to love YOU and in turn give and receive love from those around you.
I write this in the hope today, that if any of what I shared resonates and your thinking of getting help, please do, just like you would go to the doctor for that physical pain, go see the doctor when it comes to feelings of stress or anxiety or sadness, or your feeling low and don't know what to do or where to start.
Asking for help can be the first and best step you take towards taking care of yourself.
I have shared some helpful advice below from Mind about when to ask for help and where you could get help.
With my best wishes
Seeking help is often the first step towards getting and staying well, but it can be hard to know how to start or where to turn to. It's common to feel unsure, and to wonder whether you should try to handle things on your own. But it's always ok to ask for help – even if you're not sure you are experiencing a specific mental health problem.
You might want to seek help if you're:
- worrying more than usual
- finding it hard to enjoy your life
- having thoughts and feelings that are difficult to cope with, which have an impact on your day-to-day life
- interested to find more support or treatment.
There are lots of options for support out there, although you might find some are more suitable for you, or more easily available. There's no wrong order to try things in – different things work for different people at different times.
Your doctor (GP)
For many of us, our local GP practice is the first place we go when we're unwell (known as primary care). Your doctor is there to help you with your mental health as well as your physical health.
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
01455 88 33 00
BACP is the membership body for counsellors and therapists. They provide information on different types of therapy and you can search for a therapist by area.
General Medical Council (GMC)
Provides information about standards for doctors, and runs the UK medical register which doctors must be registered on to practice medicine.
Certification programme for all organisations who produce healthcare information for the public.
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)
0845 003 7780
A clinical standards body which provides evidence-based guidance on conditions and treatments for health care professionals and also for the public.