Where are the good ones?
When I speak to singles, they often ask me this very question.
And I say, I am speaking to you, you’re a good guy, aren’t you? The answer is YES.
So, how can you increase your chances of finding, connecting and keeping one of the good ones?
I am not going to share any secrets with you, because the truth is there are none. There is no secret location where they hang out.
Let me tell you about my clients (not their real names). Adil he met his now wife at a networking event, he applied some of the tools he had learnt at the Masterclass & our 1-1 sessions. Aroosa met her fiance on Muzmatch. When we first started working together she'd given up on the search after meeting a lot of "wrong ones", she was fed up, frustrated and disillusioned. Before long she met Nadeem and the rest is history.
If you wondering how read on.
What I am going to share with you is a set of principles, you have probably heard them all before, the key here is the application of these principals and mastering them.
I have watched my clients including Adil and Aroosa get the results they were looking for to find, select, connect and keep the right partner for them.
Here is what they did to meet “One of the good ones”.
1 It starts with YOU
We all want to be in a great relationship.
Shift your focus from finding a partner to how you can build a great relationship with YOU.
In love and life, a positive self-image being able to trust your head, heart and gut is like a lighthouse guiding the ships in.
Key questions to ask yourself:
How do you treat yourself?
How do you talk to yourself?
How do you stop yourself?
How do you move forward?
2 Replace Fear with Love
Healthy fear keeps you safe. It’s a biological warning system that is automatically triggered when there is danger.
Fears of rejection, the unknown, being judged, being alone, losing control, expressing our true feelings, and so many other things are unhealthy fears that keep you stuck.
Your thoughts create your reality.
Train yourself to move from an unhealthy fear to a place of love to think positively, expecting, welcoming, inviting the best for YOU and others.
In your quest for love don’t get in your own way.
It’s unconscious self-limited belief’s that got in the way of many of my client’s way of finding, connecting and keeping love.
You know what I mean here, let me give you a few examples fear of not being good enough and not being love-worthy, not being young enough, pretty enough, tall enough and the list goes on.
If you don’t believe in YOU, why would anyone else believe in you?
On the other side of things believing that there are no "compatible partners" out there.
Or holding on to the fact that you have only met the "Wrong ones" and in turn believing there are no "Good ones" out there.
Believe that you will find the “one.” Believe that there are good people out there.
4. Send an invitation to let Love in.
This might be going against the grain and something you are not used to.
Receiving love is much more of a vulnerable act of showing yourself to another than giving. This is where unhealthy fear kicks in, and you don’t permit yourself to say “You make me Happy” just in case they don’t feel the same way about you.
It takes you to a place where you feel vulnerable.
But flip it on its head for a moment and feel how empowering it is. Voila, you have sent out the invitation to let love in.
5. Your checklist of your ideal partner let it go!
Let that checklist go; it will not help you.
Instead of focusing on what he or she must have. Make a list of all the things you value in life, like generosity, reliability, growth, compassion to name just a few.
Make a list of your top 10.
Then look at how you are living them and how they are showing up in your life.
Once you are clear on your values and living them fully, you will be able to recognize them in others.
6. Look for great relationship examples.
We can get stuck in focusing on what we do not want in a relationship that we lose awareness of what a great relationship will look or feel like.
What kind of relationships styles are you used to seeing?
Do you have good role models of relationships around you?
Are there any relationships that you admire?
What are the attributes you like the most?
When you look at these role models, notice how they support each other in the relationship, how they speak to each other, how they show love to each other and others.
By being an observer of “great relationships” you are increasing your awareness of relationships that do work, rather then what does not work.
It’s the law of attraction in play here. If you focus on what you do want you will receive more of that.
If you focus on what you do not want you will receive more of that.
Give these tips a go and see what happens.
What are you going to do differently today that you did not do yesterday?
I’d love to hear from you: What did you do differently and what was the result?
I have seen the difference it makes when people work on themselves, change their expectations, learn to embrace who they are and in turn go on to meet the “One”.
I know you can do this too!
It starts today, take the first step.
Untill next week
ps if you would like to master the skills to find, select, connect and keep the right partner for you join the Bite Size masterclass on 8th February 2020
Here is what a previous attendee said about attending the Masterclass.
"When my friend told me about the Masterclass, I said I don't need confidence, I need a compatible partner.
I am so glad I did attend!
The tools that Wajeeha shares helped me to find my Mr Right & we are setting a date for the Nikha"