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Who is he? Who is she?

· Relationship,halfourdeen,dating tips

Did you know that your choice of who your Mr or Mrs Right is, is made long before you ever meet them?

We all have a wish list of qualities that we want in a mate, and that list pre-determines who we will put in the category of 'just friends' or in the category of someone we really want to marry.

Now, lists are just something we all do, but the problem with lists is that they can be limiting our choices of meeting a great match.  For example, many of my clients have shared with me that if they notice someone in a crowded room and if they thought that person was older or younger than them, they would lose interest in getting to know them.

I ask them to think about the approach they are using and if it is helping them find the person who matches their DEEPEST NEEDS. If you want to meet your soul mate you need to work out if 2,3 5,8 years older or younger is a vital requirement for a lasting love. So, will it be someone who is the right age but a poor listener or someone 8 years 'too old' but makes you feel as if you are the only person in the room worth listening to?

If you are not meeting enough people in your search for Mr or Mrs Right, ask yourself if your 'obvious to spot list' is crowding out your VITAL list needs in a partner. 

Try meeting with people outside your 'type' and give other types of people a chance to get to know you. It does not mean you are going to have to get stuck, or even feel obligated to meet again, you are just broadening your understanding of people and getting to know what people value and like in life.

In fact most people who find their ideal mate meet different kinds of people as this taught them a lot about their REAL VALUES - what was really important to them in a mate. You see, as they open themselves up to meet different people they grew and matured and some of their 'non essential' qualities were exchanged for some better ones. Qualities that met their deepest needs in a partner.

This is what happened for 2 of my clients recently. Imran and Zara both said they knew what they wanted and there was just no one out there.

I challenged them on this and they sure did struggle with the idea. But 3 weeks into their one to one programme with me what do you think happened?

Well firstly they gave it a go! Always the best place to start.

Secondly they surprised themselves. Imran is speaking to someone because he stepped away from his list:

“Wajeeha, I never thought she was my type, now we are talking about the details of marriage”

Zara said:

“I got talking to him and look wise I would never be talking to him, but I spoke to him. When I stepped away the penny dropped, it made total sense what you had said. I would have missed out if I had not spoken to him.  I will explore the idea more, something I would have never done in the past”

So my invitation for you this week:

Try starting a conversation with someone who is a little bit different from the type of people you would normally choose to get to know.

Let me know how you get on.

I love hearing from you. Don’t be shay I am here to help.

Until next time


Ps Imran and Zara are not their real names.  Names have been changed to protect their identity. You see confidentiality is KING!

The next Masterclass is on 10th December 2016​

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