Research says you have 6- 30 seconds to make a first impression.
Let's make the seconds count.
Here are a few tips to help you create connections not just in love but in your professional and social life too.
But first, let me share some results that my clients experienced by using these tips.
Hanna my client was struggling with finding, connecting and keeping the right partner for her. She signed up to work with me one to one.
When she called, me she said “Wajeeha, I really don’t think there is anyone out there for me”. She was at a stage in life where she was questioning Love and life.
She felt she was being bullied at work and to top it off she found out the guy she thought was “The One” said he was not ready for marriage, even though he had been introduced through family.
Now transformation does not come over night and after a few months of Hanna working with me she left her job and after a short break landed a job that she was really excited about. She also met someone at a networking event.
I am not saying there are going to be wedding bells anytime soon….but she is loving the transformation in her life.
What makes working with me so unique is that it’s an inside-out process. Hanna owned her power as a lovable, deserving and smart woman. She’s raised her standards and attracted more opportunities in all areas in her life and in love.
When Imran came to me he had lost hope in ever finding someone compatible.
He was frustrated and angry with the whole process and when we dug a little dipper there were some patterns he was repeating in all areas of his life.
I worked with him through the inside out process and fifteen month's later there were indeed wedding bells.
So today I wanted to share some of my favourite tips that got Hanna and Imran the result they were looking for.
Try them and who knows…
1: See Every Interaction as a Win-Win Connection.
A little bit of research goes a long way, look for events that are going on in your local area and maybe further afield. Take the opportunity to connect with people, don’t shy away from chatting with people as you go about your day.
When you get the opportunity to connect, even if you aren’t attracted to the person you meet at the networking event, you never know who he or she knows.
I said to Hanna next time your at a networking event, play host.
Imagine your the host of the event and you have to go round the room and make sure everyone is having fun. Your job is also to find people who you could introduce to each other. That way you shift your focus from you to other's in the room.
In fact, that’s what Hanna did she went to a networking event got speaking to someone, turned out he was married, but he introduced her to his single friend.
2: Imagine that the person you meet is your best friend.
Start with making your imagination your friend. It’s the best and most powerful tool you have.
Imagine meeting one of your best friends for coffee. Think about how accepted and warm you feel, how comfortable, how real, and how relaxed you are. Now imagine being that connected to a date or friend who is the latest addition to your network.
A great fantasy, right? You can use the same technique when you are meeting a new date, or for that matter, anyone. Simply program yourself to be an old friend or relative who is entirely comfortable with this person.
So try this little experiment: before you meet someone, just imagine that you have known them for ages. They have been away for a while and you are really excited to catch up with them and find out what they have been up to. You will be more relaxed and this attitude, in turn, will put the person you’re with at ease as well.
Try it, it works when it comes to networking, first dates, meeting new friends or any new encounter.
It worked for Sandra my client, she started a new job in Brazil whilst she was at a local coffee shop she got speaking to someone, she imagined that he was someone she knew in London. It was interesting for her because not only did she have to contend with connecting with new people she was also in a new country.
Just because she gave it a go Sandra and Tom are now best friends and they are now planning their wedding.
3: Create some mystery with your Intro.
The most frequently asked question you will be asked is, “What do you do?” The first thing you usually say is “I’m a doctor,” or “I’m a lawyer.”
Generally, no one cares what you do. What you need to convey is how you can help them in ten seconds or less.
You want the person to be so intrigued that he/she must get to know you. We practice this in the Finding Mr or Mrs Right Masterclass and people have walked away with some powerful intros.
For example, Amira an accountant discovered this intro at the Masterclass, “I help change people’s relationship to money.”
Sayeed a Scientist said, “You will never guess, I don’t think there will be anyone else in the room that does what I do.”
Bushra a dentist said “I help people take care of the most neglected part of their body”
Your own unique intro will lead to a much richer opening conversation. Make it a part of any introduction. Remember, you want to leave someone you meet wanting to know more about you.
4: Be Completely Focused on the Other Person.
Get out of your head, stop wondering what they think of you and start wondering about them.
Focus on the person in front of you. Remember everyone you meet knows something you do not know. Your mission is to find out what they know.
Create a positive memorable impression and a strong connection by completely focusing on the other person.
Ask questions and allow yourself to discover the special qualities of the person standing in front of you. We cover how to master focusing and asking questions in the Masterclass.
Next time you’re at a networking event try out these tips. You will be glad you did.
Let me know how you’re getting on. I would love to hear from you.
ps. The names given are not the real names of my clients.
If you would like to spend a evening learning and practicing some transformative techniques to become a master connector, why not join me on 21st December for unexpected connections.